Football Daily | Hair pulls, wobbles and Pep talks on another wild night in the Premier League
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Oof. Eek! Yikes. Woof! Tuesday’s final score sheet might show three draws and West Ham edging a mid-table battle, but this was another white-hot night of Premier League action. There were great goals, brilliant saves, hair pulls, late wobbles, Pep talks and some of the worst defending seen in the Barclays multiverse. Where to start? Well, why not at the Potterdome, where the Hammers rediscovered the concept of pressing after the fatally languid Julen Lopetegui era. The result was two goals gleaned from errant Fulham passes at the back, a platform the hosts clung on to as Fulham fought back, recording 21 shots to West Ham’s four but losing the game 3-2. “The best team didn’t win, but we have to be strong at both ends. We gave West Ham two goals,” fumed Marco Silva afterwards.
A doctor doesn’t differentiate when a patient is coming from a different city. A lawyer doesn’t, either. If you like, I’m Dr Football. I love helping wherever I can, where I can give my all” – Jürgen Klopp does his best to spin his “global head of soccer” role at Red Bull to make it sound a smidgin less corporate and depressingly dull.
I presume until now Lazio (yesterday’s Football Daily) didn’t have the cajones to sack Juan Bernabe last time he got his bird out and cheered for the bald man” – Thomas Ayre.
Lazio firing their far-right sympathiser falconer for sharing pictures of a recent ‘penile implant’ (which, apropos of nothing, is going to be my new insult for 2025) but not firing him before that for performing a fascist salute at the end of a match and chanting ‘Duce, Duce’ in favour of former fascist dictator Benito Mussolini, probably says something about the state of the world at the moment. As the great Chris Morris said on The Day Today, ‘those are the headlines. God, I wish they weren’t’” – Noble Francis.
I notice that, in the Jacobin calendar that was used during the French Revolution, today is the day set aside for the celebration of Tin. What a shame that historians of that era have not yet uncovered a copy of the revolutionary Football Quotidien, let alone its predecessor, Le Cinqeur” – Richard O’Hagan.
Arsenal can stop looking for the prolific striker they’ve been searching for. I’ve found him. If Shuto Machino is anything like his name, they’ll get target attempts on an industrial scale. Unlike the efforts of the club’s current strikers, some might even go in” – Charles Antaki.
I see Manchester United are sniffing round Parma goalkeeper Zion Suzuki. He’ll soon be on his bike, I reckon” – Darian Boyd.
