Phil Foden’s big rush back to be played out of position against Slovakia

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Contrary to speculation – and very lonely teenage years – Football Daily has produced many children. We therefore know how completely and utterly tedious the early days of a newborn can be. All they do is sleep and produce very weird excrement while you wonder if the whole buildup to the big event has been worth it – very much like being an England fan.

“Just a few grazes and scratches. It was funny. I was coming down on my bike, I saw him and thought: ‘What’s happened there?’ I saw the graze on his chin and his nose and I burst out laughing. Some players were out in front and as I was coming down the hill, I saw Ant and he was lying there with his face bloodied, hands and chin. At least he wore his helmet” – after Anthony Gordon’s prang, Ezri Konsa sees the funny side of an incident that left the fleet-footed winger with an almighty graze on his chin, a bashed knee and damaged hand and may cause “turbo” bikes to banned by the England. Konsa also placed a hostage to fortune in suggesting a bike-related celebration if England ever score a goal again.

Re: football at festivals (yesterday’s Euro 2024 Daily letters). At Isle of Wight in 2004, a band pulled out so England v France went on the big screen. That didn’t end well and the screen darkened at full-time. Soon after, headliner David Bowie came on and, in reference to David Beckham’s missed penalty, said: ‘I’m not the only famous person with the initials DB in England, you know … But I’m the only one who’ll wake up with his balls intact tomorrow’” – Marionette.

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