England’s required reboot on the hoof should be familiar to Lineker

There have been plenty of tournaments when England have been poor, but 1986 and 1990 showed things can change

Wait. What if the ghost is … trying to tell us something? If generic six-part TV dramas have taught us anything, it is that there will generally be a scene where someone says this. The answer is always yes. The old man is asking for help. That tapping on the wall really is morse code and the ghost, well, the ghost is definitely trying to say something.

This time around that message is text and subtext. Yes, England have, as Gary Lineker has suggested, been shit. This is an objectively true comment on their performance levels to date, but there also may still be a way to fix it. That fix involves speeding off down a darkened road, jimmying a window, thumbing through a yellowing set of county records, blowing away a sheen of dust and finding the name G Lineker on a set of files illuminated by a timely lightning bolt. Whatever could it all mean?

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