England want to be fun but we take ourselves too seriously | Max Rushden

Everyone is annoyed after three games of football. No one is having a good time. And it is objectively hilarious

When was the moment you thought it was going to be one of those England games? 13min 29sec for me, Clive. John Stones overhits a relatively straightforward crossfield pass to Kieran Trippier. The makeshift left‑back (he’s right-footed in case you hadn’t been made aware) performs the classic “right idea” applause over his head as the ball sails out for a throw-in to Slovenia.

Thirteen and a half minutes is a little impatient. But this quickly became one of those games where you start wondering if you floss enough, or if your pension is invested ethically. This was 13 and a half minutes on top of the 90 against Denmark and at least 45 against Serbia. Game after game of footballing atrophy. Elite players degenerating in front of your eyes.

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